Perfect Memory
by davidr11
Summary: Tori Vega and Jade West find love together, but happy endings are hard to come by. One Shot. M for mature themes and suicide. Please don't read if self harm/suicide may trigger you. Read at your own risk.


_**AN: Please if you ever feel suicidal or like hurting yourself talk to someone, you're important and the world is a better place with you in it. Lyrics in this story are from Perfect Memory by Remy Zero.**_

 _Remember how they always seemed to know_

 _We had the forest in our eyes_

 _But the earth was in our clothes_

 _And they thought we'd fall_

 _Not at all_

 _So look back on the treasured days_

 _We were young in a world that was so tired_

 _Though it's not what we wanted before_

 _Even the saints had to crawl from the floor_

 _Summers when the money was gone_

 _You'd sing all you're little songs_

 _That meant every thing to me_

It was Tori Vega's third month at Hollywood Arts and she was enjoying her new school immensely. Andre, Beck, Cat, and Robbie were all great friends. Jade on the other hand, well she wouldn't consider her a friend, more a mortal enemy. Don't get her wrong, she'd love to be friends with Jade, but Jade hated her. It was all born from a misunderstanding, but unfortunately first impressions can be hard to shake. What she could never tell Jade was Tori would rather be rubbing coffee off of her instead of Beck any day of the week.

Tori and Trina pulled into the schools parking lot, Tori went off the find her friends happy to finally get away from Trina. "Hey Tor," Cat said as Tori walked up to her locker. Tori gave her a small smile, "Hey Cat."

"If I were you I'd try to avoid Jade today, she seems to be in a worse mood than usual," with that Cat skipped off and left Tori to sigh and stand with her back against her locker. Of course Jade would have to be in an extra bad mood today, Tori could just never catch a break with her. Tori saw Beck and decided to see if she could find out anything else.

"Hey Beck," Tori crossed the hall to talk to him. "Hey, whatsup?" he responded, cool just oozing from him. "Cat was giving me a warning about Jade, you have any clue what's up with her today?" Beck shrugged.

"Nah, she won't talk to me. I tried to give her a kiss when I saw her but she pushed past me and walked off in a huff." Beck looked tired in that moment, he had been putting up with Jade's bullshit for a long time. He had to deal with it more than anyone else, Tori was sure of that. Tori sighed, she really didn't want to have to put up with Jade but on the other hand a part of Tori was pushing her to make sure Jade was okay, so Tori set off to find her.

Tori had a feeling Jade would be in the black box theater and her feeling was right, Jade was sitting in the furthest up row just looking down at the stage. Tori walked up to her and sat down in the seat next to her without saying a word. Neither said anything, they just sat in silence a mutual understanding; if Tori didn't talk Jade wouldn't freak out on her. Tori studied the raven haired girl, she didn't even look angry just sad. Jade was always angry so Tori wondered what could happen to make her drop her anger and just be sad.

She didn't ask her though, she knew if she broke their mutually understood agreement for silence she would loss this moment. A moment in which Jade was okay with her company, something that never happened.

…

And so it became a ritual, every morning Jade wouldn't talk to anyone and would sit up in the black box theater. And every morning Tori would join her, neither would talk. Soon Tori started bringing her a coffee, no thank yous were exchanged but Tori knew she was grateful, even if it was deep down. No one knew what was wrong with Jade not even Beck. After the first class of the day was over she acted like regular old Jade but in the morning everyone now knew to stay clear. With the exception of Tori of course which everyone found really odd, but it seemed they all decided it was good not to question it, at least Jade let someone around to make sure she didn't do anything stupid.

Three weeks had passed since this started when the silence was finally broken. Tori handed Jade her coffee when Jade said "Thanks". Tori nodded and sat down to drink her own coffee. The next day Jade thanked her again. Some time passed before Jade further broke the silence tradition and asked her, "How do you do it? I mean be nice." Tori sat there for a moment thinking.

"There isn't much 'to do' I guess. It just comes naturally, treat others the way you wish to be treated I guess," Tori finished, wondering what Jade was going through to make her ask that. Jade nodded looking deep in thought but nothing else was said that morning. Jade seemed less angry than usual the rest of the day.

…

As Tori walked up to the top of the theater she had no clue things would change drastically today, she had no way of knowing. She handed Jade her coffee, got her now usual thanks, and then to her surprise Jade intertwined her hand with Tori's. Tori was surprised, she gave Jade's hand a squeeze and drank her coffee. No way was she going to complain about this development.

Now every morning Jade would intertwine her hand with Tori's, and every morning Tori would smile and hold Jade's hand. The next development surprised Tori more than she ever thought possible, Jade leaned over when the bell rung to signal the start of class and kissed Tori briefly on the lips. Tori reached up and touched her tingling lips not even realizing she was now alone in the theater and late for class.

The next morning Tori had no clue what to expect, as Tori sat down Jade intertwined their fingers and leaned into Tori. Yes Jade West was cuddling with Tori Vega. Tori used her free hand to stroke Jade's hair. "Jade, I think we should talk about this," Tori said. She wasn't meaning to complain or anything but Jade was still dating Beck. Not to mention Tori needed some answers to what was going on and why.

Jade sighed, "We will, just not today. I'm not ready." Tori nodded, that was fair enough, but it couldn't be too long until they did either.

…

That day Jade broke up with Beck, Tori comforted him (along with all their other friends). They all wanted to know why she would do that though Tori felt a bit guilty as she had a big hunch on why.

"I'm not too sure, well I mean she said she felt we had been drifting apart for some time but it never seemed that way to me." Beck said looking sad. Tori wasn't able to look him in the eye.

The next day Tori sat down next to Jade as usual, Jade intertwined their fingers as usual. Jade had her head in Tori's lap and Tori was looking down at the girl, before she knew what she was doing she leaned down to kiss Jade. They made out for the first time that day and Tori wished it could have lasted forever.

…

 _Remember how they tried to hold you down_

 _And we climbed those towers_

 _And looked down upon our town_

 _And everything you hoped would last_

 _Just always becomes your past (it hurts)_

 _Summers when the money was gone_

 _You'd sing all your little songs_

 _That meant everything to me_

The next day Tori would finally get some answers. Their fingers intertwined and Jade's head in Tori's lap, which had become usual for them, Jade spoke up. "So, I'm sure you're still a bit confused," Jade started, "it all started with my dad talking about how they should round up every queer and homo and shoot them. My parents don't know I'm bi, no one did really. It just set me off in a terrible mood. That morning, when everyone else insisted on staying clear of me to avoid my anger, you knew I needed someone there and sat down next to me. I fought my first instinct to lay into you and tell you to fuck off. Then you kept coming, every morning you'd sit there and every morning I'd notice how pretty you are. I'd notice how out of everyone, Beck included, you must care the most about me to be here. Then I started thinking of how nice you are, and how I wouldn't deserve you. Soon enough I wasn't even sitting up here angry anymore, I just wanted to be alone with you." Jade took a break to take a breath.

"Then I started to feel conflicted, wanting to be with you and not Beck. The first day I held your hand, that day I knew I had to break up with him soon. Even if you didn't reciprocate my feelings, I no longer had him in my heart. You had taken his place. Then you held my hand back, you cuddled with me, kissed me back, stroked my hair, and I liked you more and more every second."

Jade was done, she had said all she had to say. She put her head in Tori's lap and Tori stroked her hair. Things were different now, Jade and Tori would sit up in the theater every morning holding hands, kissing, and talking. They talked about so much, their hopes and dreams, favorite music, movies, everyday life, how they thought Beck was holding up, how they thought everyone would react if they knew about the two of them. Jade told Tori about her home life, her bigot dad and drunk mom. Tori told Jade about her parents were never there, how abandoned she felt at times.

Then there was the sneaking around, impromptu make out sessions in the janitor's closet, holding hands briefly when no one was looking, Jade climbing into Tori's room at night. It was so surreal, and perfect. Tori had never been happier than when she was with Jade.

One night they were lying in Tori's bed, cuddling and talking about whatever came to mind. After they were finishing a kiss Jade cupped Tori's face and said, "This, this is my perfect memory of you." Of course paradise couldn't last forever. One day Beck confronted Tori at lunch.

"Robbie saw you Tori," Tori looked up at Beck confused, "he saw you and Jade in the black box theater. You knew, you knew this entire time why Jade broke up with me. And worse you knew it was because of you!" Tori had never seen Beck angry before.

"Beck it wasn't planned or anything I swear! It just sort of happened," Tori pleaded hoping he'd understand. He just shook his head and walked away.

It didn't take long for Jade and Tori to become social outcasts. It wasn't that the school thought bad of them for being two girls together, it was just most of the school sided with Beck. That included Andre, Cat, and Robbie. They weren't mean towards them or anything, they just no longer wanted to hang out with them. Tori understood, Jade and herself had handled things badly. They should have came out sooner, Tori should never have played dumb on why Jade broke up with him. They should have explained things immediately.

Then the worse thing that could happen did happen, somehow Jade's dad heard about them. Jade showed up at Tori's door, crying and with three suitcases containing everything she could fit in them. Jade's dad had kicked her out. Tori held her, told her of course she could stay with her.

...

 _But then this world_

 _Slipped through my fingers_

 _And even the sun seemed tired_

 _I still cared_

 _As I lowered you down_

 _My heart just jaded_

 _In that moment the earth made no sound_

 _But you were there_

 _You helped me lift my pain into the air_

Jade and Tori had been together a year, a whole wonderful year. Jade was living with Tori, they still were outcasts at school but they were fine as long as they had each other. The last year had been a snapshot of perfect memories for Tori. Tori had stayed late at school to finish working on a play Sikowitz was having her put together, Jade had gone home to work on homework.

Finished with her work Tori was waiting for Jade to pick her up, standing out in front of the school when a car spun out of control and struck her. She was rushed into the hospital, in critical condition. Jade, panicked, arrived shortly after her. She held Tori's hand and cried as the doctor told her they had to take her into surgery immediately.

At 10:45 PM that night Tori Vega was pronounced dead. Jade yelled at the doctor's telling them to try harder to save her. She turned over a gurney filled with medical supplies, she fell to the floor crying. She curled into a ball on the floor and cried.

…

Jade West had no clue what to do, she had lost Tori. She went through the next few weeks in a fog, she vaguely remembered her old friends, Beck, Robbie, Andre, and Cat, telling her how sorry they were. They even sat down with her at her and Tori's table. She hated them, they had abandoned her and Tori and now they wanted to try and make her feel better. She didn't want to see them, but she didn't have the energy to leave them either.

She went through months in a haze, Tori's parents tried to get her to come out of her shell. Told her Tori wouldn't want this. The hell they would know what Tori wanted, they were never even here.

Jade opened the medicine cabinet and took every pill in it.

At 11:00 PM Jade West was pronounced dead.

…

 _And I'll remember you_

 _And the things that we used to do_

 _And the things that we used to say_

 _I'll remember you_

 _That way_

 _If it don't hurt you_

 _It won't hurt me_

 _It don't hurt me_

 _Then it won't hurt you_

 _If it don't hurt you_

 _It won't hurt me I know_

Jade was on the other side of the white light and waiting for her was Tori. She cried as she walked through golden arches into Tori's arms.


End file.
